You survived!

Dear Self,

What a freaking 2020, right? Just like the rest of the world thought initially, 2020 seems to be an amazing year to start the decade. Everybody wants to start the year (and the decade) on the right track.

Goals were set, dreams envisioned, plans made – then this pandemic hits us hard. Being the always optimistic, glass-half-full girl, you decided that this is just a setback and we must endure. And endure we did.

The thing is, there were many times it’s so tiring to continue, and you lost count the times you cried in the shower. You cried for all the loss, for the uncertainties, you cried because of fear and disappointment. You cried alone because you don’t want anyone to see that you’re hurt and sad and scared. You’re supposed to be strong and inspirational. The one person they can go to for advice and vent their frustration. You’re supposed to lift them. But who’s lifting you?

One thing 2020 taught so many of us is how STRONG and RESILIENT we all are. I’m so proud of each and every one of us for surviving this shitty year. Because even though we cried, and cried, and cried, we still manage to get up and get through. It ain’t easy, we don’t want to do it, but a strong woman knows that this too shall pass.

It’s so amusing to remember the roller coaster of emotions you went through:

January to March – “GIRL POWER! I can conquer the world!”
April to June – “this is just a setback, everything will be okay”
July to September – “I fucking hate it. I just want to curl up and cry in the shower for 5 hours”
October – “Oh well, now what? Crying is tiring.”
November – “Maybe I can start again.”
December – “You survived bitch! Any plans for 2021?”

Self, I appreciate you. In spite and despite of everything, you did it.
Your spirit might have gone low but you constantly try to lift it up through your faith, through your beliefs, through the sheer mental power to fuck 2020! haha

I’d like to say that I hate 2020 because of all the shit that happened but honestly, I don’t. Many amazing things have happened too. Focusing on what didn’t happen or what we lost is human but counting what we have gained and didn’t lose is gratitude. And despite of everything, gratefulness for what we still have is what drives us to continue.

You deserve to do something for yourself. Pamper yourself, buy yourself that shit you wanted for the longest time, travel, take a break, read a book alone, do everything, or do nothing if you want – just take care of yourself these coming days. You fucking deserve it!

Next year, I know you’ll be reborn. You’re stronger, you’re wiser, you’re determined more than ever. 2021 should better be so ready because you’re so ready for her!


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